An Important Reminder
It is necessary that both partners in a marriage work to build a happy home, with the intention of pleasing Allah. Their aim behind this should be not only for personal satisfaction, but for the pleasure of the Almighty. Allah wants us to establish strong and happy families. These are the basic units of society and when these are strong, society will be strong. Each individual who strives to maintain a happy family is really working in the way of God. This Divine aim gives glory to the efforts of daily marital life. It breathes new spirit and joy into it, as the partners know that their work is for God.
When two people work in this manner, their focus being the pleasure of God, their expectations from each other will also be limited. Their real expectations lie with the Almighty, and they will not focus on the lack of rewards – material and mental – from the other partner. When a husband tries to please his wife, for the sake of Allah, he has achieved great good. He will then not be beset by negative thoughts of whether his wife deserves it or not, for he has done it for God and God deserves that, and more. This type of attitude sanctifies the efforts of the couple.
The basis of the family should be established on obedience to Allah. The couple should strive together to do what Allah has enjoined them to do, and stay away from all that he has forbidden. A marriage established on obedience to God is a blessed marriage, and their home a blessed home. Allah and His angels would look kindly at it, and the home would be showered with His grace. Who can estimate the favors of Allah when He decides to bless a household with His mercy?
Ayatullah Haeri in his book Adaab Hamsardari, or The Etiquette of Marriage, points this out with a very beautiful simile. He says, when a couple get married they receive many gifts. The value of these gifts varies, depending on many factors. Relatives and close friends will give greater gifts than others. The wealth of an individual also plays a role in the type of gift he gives. A third important factor that determines the type of gift is the generosity of the person. Some wealthy people may be miserly and see no need to spend whole-heartedly on a gift for someone else. Allah the Exalted, is the most supreme in all these three factors. He is the Creator, the closest to the bride and groom. His love for them transcends the love of the closest relatives and friends, even that of the parents. His
wealth is the greatest for in His hands lie the treasures of the Heavens and the Earth. He is also the most Generous and Kind. When the new couple ask for His blessings and act accordingly, He will endow on them a gift far greater than any they have received from humans. There is no restriction on the type of gift He can bestow on the new couple. So ask from Him, remain steadfast on his path, and enjoy the blessings on your marriage that only He can provide.
May the Almighty help and guide all those who struggle in His way.
Blessed is he who devotes all his actions and his knowledge, his love and his hatred, his receiving and his relinquishing, his speech and his silence, his deeds and his statements, absolutely to Allah.
Imam Ali (a)